Our 15 Favorite ‘Mad Men’ Couples And Hookups

Consider this your reminder of a reminder of a reminder of a reminder that Mad Men returns at 10 p.m. EST tonight. It’s going to be good…we think. We’re not sure, actually, because critics aren’t allowed to share their reviews until after the episode airs (forming our own opinions? *shudder*), but let’s assume Pete was eaten by a bear and everything’s right in the world once again. Isn’t it lovely.

Speaking of loveliness: here are 15 of our favorite Mad Men hookups and couples.

15. Ken and Cynthia

There’s nothing particularly interesting about either of them — except for maybe his dancing skills and science-fiction prowess — but that’s what makes them so likable. On a show full of perverts, sex addicts, and Pete Campbell, Ken and Cynthia are refreshingly normal.

14. Sal and Random Bellhop

BRING BACK SAL.

13. Don and Bobbie

Ah, the 1960s, when a shock comic’s wife could get fingered in a hallway. Bonus points for being the rare TV hookup where you can use a GIF labeled “fingerbang” and not have it be NSFW.

12. Peggy and Abe

That’s what having sex SHOULD look like.

11. Roger and Marie

What was once so not-sweet and not-nice turned SUPER not-sweet and REALLY not-nice when Sally walked in on Roger and Marie doing something she shouldn’t be subjected until much later in her life. Or never. SALLY IS PURE AND NOT AT ALL MENTALLY STUNTED BY HER COLD MOTHER AND DRUNK, DISTANT FATHER. Anyway, Roger and Marie: good couple, bad role models.

10. Peggy and Duck

She fell in love; he pooped on her office’s floor. A romance as American as apple pie.

9. Don and Megan

Don and Megan are as twisted as Jenna and Paul, and burn with as much confusing sexuality.

8. Betty and a Washing Machine

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Betty Draper don’t need no man. She’s a machine who can spin her cycles all the right ways.

7. Roger and Jane

They’re #1 on my TV Characters I’d Like to Take LSD With list.

6. Don and Suzanne

Suzanne is my favorite of Don’s flings, mostly because she’s played by the lovely Abigail Spencer (obligatory watch Rectify comment). She’s also pleasantly normal. At least when compared to a prostitute or the miserable wife of a bike gang president. (I may be mixing up my shows)

5. Joan and Roger

Do you want Joan and Roger to end up together? I do…and I don’t. They’re great individually, but together, they’d be happy for a few months, then he’d cheat on her, she’d get mad at him (understandably!), and they’d become that couple everyone wishes would break up so they could hang out with both of them again, though not at the same time (#TeamJoanie). I’ve thought way too much about this.

4. Joan and Lane in Stan’s Drawing

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I immediately regret not ranking this higher.

3. Roger and Ida

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We never actually see Roger and Ida in the throws of passion. It’s merely mentioned that at one point, in the distant, distant, distant, distant, distant, distant past, they kissed, made love, he went off to some fight “Orientals,” then they made love some more (I’m guessing). It was romantic and weird.

2. Pete and Trudy

It’s not so much sweaty weasel Pete and sweet Trudy who are ranked so high. It’s Alison Brie. She’s never been listed outside the top-five on an UPROXX list before, and we don’t plan on messing with tradition.

1. Peggy and “Man”

If only because it gave us my favorite Wiki page ever: