There Is So Much Wrong With The New ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ Theme Song

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Not to get all nostalgia-y and OMG SUCH A ’90S KID on you, but the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme is a good song. It accomplishes two things: it’s very catchy and says the words “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” over and over again, until they begin to make sense — why wouldn’t the turtles be teenage and mutants and ninjas? It’s campy, it’s dumb, it’s fun, it’s…not the theme for the new TMNT movie, “Shell Shocked,” brought to us by Juicy J, Wiz Khalifa, Ty Dolla $ign, Kill the Noise, and Madsonik.

There’s some talent in there, so how do we end up with THIS?

Don’t let the generic EDM production distract you from:

Check my rolex they say I’m the man of the hour
All this green in my pockets, you can call it turtle power

Really makes you pine for the days of “Coming Out of Their Shells.”