TINDER
Tinder can be the greatest thing that’s ever happened to you if you swipe right on your future partner. It can also be a nightmare if, after a week of flirty texting, you realize “John” from two miles away is actually a horny gibbon (damn opposable thumbs). Heather, 20, is somewhere in-between. She’s the “best a man can get,” but she might also make your face really itchy.
Which one is Heather? Unknown, but either way, you’re probably going to want to replace her after a month, or when she changes from blue to white. Whichever comes first.