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The Night Ashton Kutcher Found His Girlfriend Stabbed To Death By A Serial...
Getty Image Long before he got engaged to Mila Kunis, even before his marriage to Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher was seeing Ashley Ellerin, a 22-year-old student, stripper, and aspiring model. They were...
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Diplo Is Terrified For His Life Over Taylor Swift’s ‘Scary’ Secrets
Getty Image Ariana Grande isn’t the only pop star with a Dark Passenger. Sparkly microphone-holder Taylor Swift has “lots of secrets,” with some bonus “scary stuff going on.” That’s according to her...
View ArticleLet Sleater-Kinney Explain The Riot Grrrl Movement In 20 Seconds
Sleater-Kinney has been everywhere this week, which, considering we haven’t heard a peep from them in 10 years (sort of), is OK with me. Their latest (excellent!) album-promoting escapade takes them...
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Mike Tyson Says His New Collaboration With Madonna Was Inspired By Mussolini
Getty Image After an unsuccessful collaboration with The Cinema, Madonna is hoping for better luck on a track from her upcoming album, Rebel Heart, with guest stars Mike Tyson and Chance the Rapper,...
View Article‘SNL’ Covered #DeflateGate By Throwing Tom Brady ‘Under The Bus’
Tonight’s SNL was going to start one of three ways: President Obama’s State of the Union address, the American Sniper controversy, or DeflateGate. Unsurprisingly, they went with the latter and it...
View Article‘SNL’s ‘Wishing Boot’ Is The Catchiest Country Music Song In Years
Let get this out of the way now: last night’s SNL was not very good. Mike Ryan will expand on this in his recap later today, but “Wishing Boot” was emblematic of the episode as a whole. It’s not a bad...
View ArticleJohn Oliver’s ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Movie Audition Ends With ‘Butt Stuff’
Last Week Tonight doesn’t return to inspire legislation until February 8th, but John Oliver released a clip to YouTube last night, apologizing for his biggest career mistake. No, not The Smurfs 2, but...
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Lady Gaga Pole Danced, Got ‘White Girl Wasted’ At A Catholic School Girl...
INSTAGRAM When not sticking needles into her Taylor Swift voodoo doll, Lady Gaga is eating penis cake, apparently. The “Bad Romance” singer, and Broad City‘s #1 inspiration, reunited with her Catholic...
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Why Tom Petty Could Win A Grammy And Make Millions From Sam Smith’s ‘Stay...
Getty Image If you play Sam Smith’s weepy smash-hit “Stay with Me” and Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’ classic “I Won’t Back Down” at the same time, it sounds like garbage. But you might notice some...
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This Man Dressed As Ryu From ‘Street Fighter 2′ And Fought A Car
Once again America is falling behind, not only in education and the economy and all that crap, but also in game shows where people fight cars. In Japan, the world’s biggest Street Fighter 2 fan...
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You Can Now Buy Richard Harrow’s Mask From ‘Boardwalk Empire’
HBO Boardwalk Empire may have lost the SAG Award battle — seriously, Downton Abbey? Bugsy Siegel singing “My Girl’s P*ssy” is better than every Robert Crawley scene, combined — but they’re winning the...
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A Christian Blogger Vows To Stop Wearing Yoga Pants So She Won’t ‘Entice’ Men
Via INSTAGRAM Earlier this month, Veronica Partridge — a wholesome Christian blogger who probably thinks the Partridge Family lived in a van that ran on ass, grass, and sin — wrote the following on her...
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Emma Watson Will Star In Disney’s Live-Action ‘Beauty And The Beast’ Remake
Getty Image After previously landing on The Jungle Book and Cinderella, Disney has once again spun the Remake a Cartoon Into a Live-Action Film Wheel, this time falling on…Beauty and the Beast, which...
View ArticleTim Heidecker ‘Leaked’ Katy Perry And Lenny Kravitz’s Super Bowl Song
“Abracadabralifornia” genius Jon Daly has put away his penis sock and retired from the mocking of the Super Bowl halftime performer game. But some mischief-maker’s gotta do it, and this year, that...
View ArticleAlison Brie Sounds Stoked That ‘Community’ Isn’t On NBC Anymore
Despite regularly receiving ratings that can charitably be described as “oh no” to “oh GOD no,” Community lasted for five seasons on NBC. That’s a remarkable achievement, and to We Peacock Comedy’s...
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Tom DeLonge Has Quit Blink-182, Will Be Replaced By Alkaline Trio’s Matt Skiba
Getty Image Hang your Loserkids bunny flags at half mast: Tom DeLonge has quit Blink-182 after two decades of increasingly less catchy pop-punk songs about balls. Remaining members Travis Barker and...
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Fox Is Reportedly Discussing An ‘X-Men’ TV Show
MARVEL For many nerds of a certain age, the best comic-to-screen adaption of Marvel’s X-Men isn’t X-Men: The Last Stand or X-Men: First Class, despite FX thinking it’s the greatest movie ever, if...
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‘Vacation’ Stars Chevy Chase And Beverly D’Angelo Are Reuniting For ABC Sitcom
Warner Bros. Pictures That Old Navy commercial was only the beginning (of a new chapter in a long book that probably should have ended before a fourth Vacation). Beverly D’Angelo and Chevy Chase, who...
View ArticleA Miss California Contestant Had A ‘Bikini Malfunction’ While On The Runway
The Miss California beauty pageant has been around since the 1920s, but I’m fairly certain 2014 is the first year where a contestant representing the hometown city of a famous Chihuahua lost her...
View ArticleA Singer Took Her Brooklyn Concert Outside During Last Night’s Blizzard
Winter Storm Juno may have been an honest-to-blog dud, but for awhile last night, forecasters predicted that it could have been one of the worst blizzards in New York City history. Singer Zola Jesus...
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