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Review: Is Kanye West’s ‘Yeezus’ A Masterpiece Or Do We Just Want It To Be?
1. Never leave your computer, ever. For the past week, I’ve either been in a car, boiling, or tent, boiling, or waiting to see Paul McCartney, boiling, at Bonnaroo in Manchester, Tennessee, so I...
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M.I.A. Brought The Noise With ‘Bring The Noize’
It’s nice when songs do what they say they’re going to do (future hyper-specific iTunes genre: “Literal Pop”?). Black Flag’s “Life of Pain” sounds tortured, for instance, while Jay-Z proves his...
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Competitive Dog Grooming Continues To Be Terrifying
Nope, that’s not Huggy Bear after he’s been dipped into a cauldron of melted Skittle vomit you see above — it’s a dog. Two dogs, actually. Just two normal dogs who’ve been made to look like…that…by...
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This Video Of A Snake Opening A Door Is The Beginning Of Mankind’s End
Clever girl. Us humans, we’ve had a good run. Done some things, seen some things, made Zen Arcade. Our string of success tops even what the Atlanta Braves did in the NL East in the 1990s/early 2000s....
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Pity Whoever’s Bullying The 12-Year-Old Badasses In Metal Group Unlocking The...
Because their lives are already over. Maybe not literally (yet…?), but if you can’t appreciate Malcolm Brickhouse and Jarad Dawkins, the Brooklyn-based preteens who formed brutal metal band Unlocking...
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Olivia Munn, Jamie Foxx, Miley Cyrus Want You To ‘Channing All Over Your...
The ever reliable Urban Dictionary defines “channing all over your tatum” as, “A spiritual phenomenon in which you commit a gracious act of pleasure upon an object.” In other words, it’s like what...
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The Best Of Bryan Cranston’s Reddit AMA
As of yesterday, there were 54 days left until Breaking Bad‘s glorious return to our sad, blue lives. Fifty-four is also the number of episodes of Breaking Bad has aired up to this point, which can...
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Pass The Time Until Eminem’s New Album Comes Out With ‘Symphony In H’
If it feels like Eminem’s been discussing his next album, his eighth, for about 17 years, you’re not completely wrong — it’s only been 15 years. But the point remains, it’s been a huge year for...
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John McAfee Hilariously Explains How To Uninstall His Former Company’s Virus...
Despite not having to do anything with the company he founded and then sold over a decade ago, John McAfee, of McAfee Antivirus, still receives letters to this day from angry customers, wondering how...
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10 Great TV Characters That Were Introduced Late In A Show’s Run
Benson, Bob Benson here. Fine day this is. Where are my manners? Can I get you anything, sir? Coffee? Tea, perhaps, if you’re looking for some, as my father used to say, caffeine minus the mean? I’m...
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Who Has The Better Songs: Superman Or Batman?
Anyone who says Superman is superior to Batman is fooling themselves. The Caped Crusader trumps the Man of Steel in comics, movies, outfits, nicknames, lady friends, TV shows, and dorky sidekicks —...
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Miley Cyrus Makes Out With Herself And Twerks A Lot In Her Ridiculous ‘We...
It’s well known that MTV doesn’t play music videos anymore. But if they DID and I was 12 years old and TRL was still on and I was the kind of kid who watched TRL (there are a lot of hypotheticals when...
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Prepare To Cry Again: Seth MacFarlane To Voice Fry’s Dog Seymour On ‘Futurama’
/looks at banner image //begins crying In a brief cameo for the animated comedy’s final season, [Seth MacFarlane] will provide the voice of Fry’s tragically loyal canine, Seymour, who was featured in...
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Blind ‘Feliz Navidad’ Singer Is Suing His Former Manager Because He Couldn’t...
Blind guitarist José Feliciano has been making music for over 50 years, but he’s best known for two songs, one of which is the only Spanish elementary school students in Maine are taught: his cover of...
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The Illustrations In The ‘Spanking For Jesus’ Booklet Are Very Informative
“Spanking for Jesus.” Say it again, slowly: “Spanking.” “For.” “Jesus.” Lest you think that’s the name of a new metal band that only plays songs about masturbating, it’s not nearly that awesome; in...
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Someone Other Than Chevy Chase May Not Return To ‘Community’ For Season 5...
If season five of Community can somehow be as entertaining as its offseason news is dramatic, we’re in store for the greatest season in television history. Today’s MOST IMPORTANT news comes from...
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The Headline The Internet’s Been Waiting For: ‘Kate Upton SUPER Topless On A...
Shut it down, everyone. There’s nowhere else for the Internet to go after this: “Kate Upton SUPER TOPLESS … On a Horse.” (As opposed to “NORMAL TOPLESS,” the Clark Kent to Superman’s “SUPER TOPLESS.”)...
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The Best Performer At Bonnaroo Was Wu-Tang Clan’s ASL Interpreter
In my post on the best acts I saw at Bonnaroo this year, I mentioned that I regretfully wasn’t able to enjoy Wu-Tang Clan, due to TOTALLY uncool scheduling issues (how DARE they schedule WTC the same...
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Best In The State: On Visiting Holsten’s, The Site Of The Final ‘Sopranos’ Scene
The last time I “saw” James Gandolofini, in so much as you can meet someone you’ve never actually met, was late last year, in Andrew Dominik’s Killing Them Softly. It’s an angry film that made...
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Here’s Why You Should Never Start A Knock Knock Joke On Facebook (Or Ever)
“*knock knock*.” “Who’s there?” “Steve.” “Steve who? “Steve open this f*cking door, Tim, because we need to talk about the mayhem you caused on my Facebook wall. I just wanted to entertain you with a...
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