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Even Miguel Can’t Make Elton John’s ‘Bennie And The Jets’ Listenable
Getty Image Over 40 years ago, Elton John released Goodbye Yellow Brick Road, dooming FM radio to an eternity of playing “Bennie and the Jets” every nine seconds. It’s one of John’s worst song, and...
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A St. Patrick’s Day Drunk Took A Woman’s Lost Phone On A Tour Of New Orleans
Getty Image Jenny Roberts Dodge lost her iPhone on a really bad day in a really bad place to lose an iPhone: St. Patrick’s Day in New Orleans. Eventually, she tracked it down, using the Find My Friends...
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A Town In Texas Is Paying Ted Nugent $16,000 To NOT Play A Concert
Getty Image Even Texas has had enough of Ted Nugent. TEXAS. Longview, a small town in East Texas, has paid the Calvin Pissing on Obama of rock stars thousands of dollars to stay away from their annual...
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Kylie Minogue’s ‘Sexercize’ Music Video Earns Its Parental Advisory Warning
Once again, YouTube ruins every YouTube music video. Kylie Minogue’s mega-subtle “Sexercize” music video is a very good thing that the world needed, but if you look at the comments section, you’ll...
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These Leaked Photos Of Scarlett Johansson From ‘Under The Skin’ Prove Louis...
Under the Skin was already my favorite movie coming out in 2014 that stars an actress from Ghost World as a “sexy manhunting alien,” DOUBLY so after seeing a couple of screencaps from the film. If you...
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Pregnant Mila Kunis And Ashton Kutcher To Star In ‘That Baby Show’
Getty Image As if Ashton Kutcher giving life to Dude, Where’s My Car?, Just Married, Cheaper by the Dozen, The Butterfly Effect, What Happens in Vegas, No Strings Attached, Jobs, pretty much of all his...
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‘Game Of Thrones’ Star Sophie Turner: Justin Bieber Is The ‘Joffrey Of Our Time’
Getty Image He’s a petulant little brat hailing from a fantasy land who uses his unspeakable power for douchey evil, not good. But enough about Canada’s Justin Bieber. The Sunday Times recently spoke...
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To Celebrate 30 Years Of Bustin’ Ghosts, Buy This ‘Ghostbusters’...
There’s a lot of music to look out for on Record Store Day 2014, April 19th: reissues of OutKast’s Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik, Recover EP by CHVRCHES, and the Velvet Underground’s Loaded;...
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8 ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000′ Episodes You Need To Memorize On Netflix...
April Fool’s Day on the Internet is THE WORST, so I’m already expecting the news that Mystery Science Theater 3000 will return to television on April 1st, sort of, to be #FAKE. For the sake of me...
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Creationists Are Demanding Neil deGrasse Tyson Humor Them On ‘Cosmos’
Getty Image Fox’s Cosmos follow-up has faced a predictable amount of backlash since its premiere three weeks ago, and not just because its produced by the same guy who once killed a dog for better...
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Lady Gaga Is Some Kind Of Naked Bird-Woman In Her ‘G.U.Y.’ Music Video
Remember when Lady Gaga music videos weren’t twelve minutes long, with four minutes of credits? Mother Monster has gone off the art-performance rails since ARTPOP was released, and subsequently landed...
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The New Black Keys Song Will Make You Vomit
“Fever” is both the name of the first single from the Black Keys upcoming album, Turn Blue, and also what you’ll feel like you have when you stare at the album cover for too long. I’m not a doctor,...
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‘The Walking Dead’ Bad Decision Power Rankings: ‘Us’
Previously on AMC’s The Walking Dead: say hello to Terminus and Nerd Kenny Powers. 4. Eugene Porter Don’t tease us with the promise of a zombie dino video game. MAKE THAT ZOMBIE DINO VIDEO GAME. 3....
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Jessica Chastain Documented Her Birthday Weekend With Tom Hiddleston On Facebook
Getty Image After starring in literally every movie released in 2011 and 2012, including the Oscar-winning Zero Dark Thirty and the Michael-Shannoning Take Shelter, Jessica Chastain had a quiet 2013....
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Kate Mara & Ellen Page Are Lobbying Hard To Star In The Next Season Of ‘True...
Ever since creator Nic Pizzolatto hinted that #TrueDetectiveSeason2 might be female-centric, every actress in HollyWEIRD has been checking their phone every six seconds (six being the number of...
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What’s On Tonight: Kids, There Are Only Two Episodes Of ‘How I Met Your...
How I Met Your Mother (CBS, 8 p.m.) — Robin and Barney panic with only a half an hour left before the wedding, and I begin to freak out that there’s only this episode and next week’s left. Dancing...
View ArticleWatch This BASE Jumping Footage From One World Trade Center And Try Not To...
I mean, how scary can it be to watch footage recorded by a Freedom Tower B.A.S.E. jumper? I’m sure it won’t be terrifAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH…...
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There’s A Website That Tracks Every Cultural Reference Made On ‘The Office’
The Office Time Machine is the “We Didn’t Start the Fire” of RYAN STARTED THE FIRE, I mean, websites. Like the Billy Joel single, it condenses decades of cultural references into something that can be...
View ArticleWatch Neil Patrick Harris & Billy Eichner Scream At People About The End Of...
The most startling thing about Neil Patrick Harris and Billy Eichner screaming at random New Yorkers about How I Met Your Mother wrapping up its nine-season JOURNEY next Monday: how few of them...
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Jon Stewart Finally Ripped CNN For Its ‘F*ck It, Let’s Go Nuts’ Flight 370...
CNN is probably hoping Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 never gets found. Since the plane crashed, got LOST, was sucked into a black hole, etc., their ratings have doubled, meaning they’ve gone from 12...
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