One Direction Fans Are Threatening To Murder A Parodist Who Wrote A Song...
There are three simple rules to the Internet: 1) It’s Doctor Who, not Dr. Who, 2) Ignore the Westboro Baptist Church (except when gay satanists are involved), and 3) Don’t mess with One Direction....
View ArticleShark Week’s Facebook Page Is Filled With People Who Are Furious A Megalodon...
To kick off the 26th annual Shark Week, and first since Sharknado, the Discovery Channel aired a fake documentary last night called Megalodon: The Monster Shark Lives, about the extinct lion of the...
View ArticleMiley Cyrus Is The Celebrity Married Men Most Want To Cheat On Their Wives With
(via Getty Image) Apparently the separation between devoted husband and divorced philanderer is Miley Cyrus. The cigar-smoking creeps over at Ashley Madison asked their male users to name the five...
View ArticlePeter ‘The Doctor’ Capaldi And Craig Ferguson Were In A Really Good Punk Band...
There is probably one bloke out there who saw the news of Peter Capaldi joining Doctor Who and got mad that all the subsequent articles described him as the star of The Thick of It. “That piss-faced...
View ArticleWatch The Entirety Of Nine Inch Nails’ Remarkable Lollapalooza Set
In case you couldn’t tell, we’re pretty excited for the new Nine Inch Nails album ’round these parts. Hesitation Marks, the group’s first release since 2008′s The Slip, comes out September 3rd, and...
View ArticleRun–D.M.C.’s DMC Thinks Jay-Z & Lil Wayne ‘Ain’t Hot,’ Says We’ve All Been...
Your reaction to this story likely depends on whether you grew up with Run–D.M.C. For those who did and still own a pristine copy of Raising Hell on vinyl, it’s a “about time someone said it” moment....
View ArticleWhat’s On Tonight: ‘The Ghost Inside My Child.’ Again, That’s ‘The Ghost...
The Ghost Inside My Child (Biography, 10 p.m.) — “This new BIO series explores many parents’ most closely guarded secret: Their child is a reincarnation of someone who died violently and came back to...
View ArticleR.I.P. George Duke, The Only Man To Look Cool While Holding A Keytar
George Duke was one of the greats. The multi-instrumentalist and producer worked with the likes of Frank Zappa, Miles Davis, Cannonball Adderley, and Anita Baker during his long, storied, funky...
View ArticleFranklin Delano Bluth Is Returning To ‘Arrested Development’
Now the story of a wealthy puppet who lost everything when Arrested Development went off the air in 2006, and the one and the same puppet who had no choice but to keep turning down a starring role on...
View ArticleThe New Gold Standard For Vine: A Man’s Buxom Neighbor Dances To ‘Blurred...
If, after watching the Vine below, you suddenly find yourself on iTunes purchasing “Blurred Lines,” to remind yourself of that moment when you first watched the most infectiously happy Vine ever, I’m...
View ArticleThe Twerking Surfer Anastasia Ashley Is The Best Thing To Happen To The...
Never forget…Michelle Jenneke, who slightly over a year ago, crashed the Internet with her so good, so fascinating, so EVERYTHING pre-race dancing skills. It was the first and last time anyone cared...
View ArticleSean Hannity: Ryan Adams Is A ‘Gutless Little Coward’ For Going On A ‘Liberal...
In the most heated singer-songwriter vs. Fox News personality battle since James Taylor left a flaming bag of dog doo on Neil Cavuto’s front porch, last night’s episode of Hannity was partially...
View Article‘PIZZA HOUSE’: 10 Hilarious Scenes From Otherwise Serious TV Dramas
“OK, so, I’ve got this idea for a show. Breaking Bad. It’s about a man named Walter White. He’s a chemistry teacher who has cancer and oh yeah, he’s played by the dad from Malcolm in the Middle....
View ArticleLady Gaga’s New Leaked Single, ‘Aura,’ Is Impossibly Bizarre (And Awful)
As the only staunch defender of Born This Way, as messy and unpredictable an album as any released by a pop star in recent years, I came into “Aura,” the first single from Lady Gaga‘s ARTPOP,...
View ArticleStephen Fry Asks Us To Boycott The Winter Olympics Over Russia’s Barbaric...
Russia is two kinds of f*cked up. The first one is the funny kind, the one that gives us videos of cars crashing into cows having sex, musicians playing the piano with another piano strapped to their...
View ArticleJustin Bieber Is In Trouble With The Cops For Pretending Like He Was In ‘Die...
Douche-for-hire Justin Bieber is drawn to controversy like Phish fans to puka shell necklaces, and this week’s installment of “Swaggy Squabbles” involves bodyguards, bow ties, punk bitches, the...
View ArticleHere’s What Happens When A Redditor Confesses To Raping A Teenage Girl
Two years ago, 17-year-old Redditor “pilot94″ and a friend of his received a call from three girls from school who they thought were 15 but turned out to be 13 or 14 about having “some fun.” They met...
View ArticleHomer Is A Dope: Here’s A Collection Of Fantastic ‘Simpsons’-Themed Shirts
Feds shut down the illegal counterfeit jeans operation in your car hole? Run all out of the same red shirts and blue pants you’ve been wearing for 20 years? Your new litter of puppies chew up all your...
View ArticleLady Gaga Stripped Down For A Confusing NSFW Art Piece With Marina Abramovic
So, the thing about this is: yeah. “Art pieces,” especially “art pieces” involving Marina Abramovic (last seen in Jay Z’s “Picasso Baby” music video), but ESPECIALLY “art pieces” involving Marina...
View ArticleThe Tweens Are Back And Worse Than Ever With The Walmart Ball Pit Trend
DOWN WITH HOMEWORK DOWN WITH TWEENS. When they’re not smacking unsuspecting strangers or calling Jennifer Lawrence an “ugly negro,” they’re jumping into ball pits at Walmart, a mess that some...
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